Dealing with Anger

I started this blog to help me incorporate my Buddhist practice into my daily life which can be challenging at times, especially when dealing with other people. Last night was definitely one of those times.

Hubby came home from work at a neighborhood dog kennel his usual time, only this time he showed up with cuts around his eye that was swelling shut … and a torn shirt. At first I thought one of the large dogs jumped up on him, until he admitted that he was attacked by five teenage boys while he working. They intended to rob him and when they found out he didn’t have money, they decided to beat and kick him instead.

It didn’t even take seconds for the severity of the attack to sink in. My blood pressure shot up and I was beyond angry. The sheriff came to our house to take a report and hubby went to urgent care to have his injuries cared for. Luckily his wounds will heal.

I am still pissed off about what happened. I tried several times since last night to meditate, and  to be thankful that his injuries weren’t worse, but I kept asking myself these questions.

Why do these kids (punks) think robbing and hurting people is ok?
Don’t their parents know what their kids are doing?

Hubby didn’t go down without a fight. He punched one of the teens several times. I hoped (and still do) that hubby knocked out one of his front teeth; a nice reminder of what happens to delinquents that pick on the wrong person.

If he did get some bruises, how will he explain them to his parents?
Will they even notice?

I know all these thoughts are my ego trying to make sense out of this, but its times like these where I have trouble feeling compassion for someone who clearly has no compassion. How many times have I read about other teens committing similar crimes, only to hear their defense team claim that they live in abusive homes, their parents are druggies and blah, blah, blah.

I get it that not everyone has parents that give a shit about them. My mother was an abusive alcoholic but I didn’t grow up robbing or attacking people. Playing the victim card to justify bad behavior never sits well with me. I am a firm believer in personal responsibility.

A parent’s number one job is to raise their kids. I don’t care if they have to work. I don’t care if the kid is growing up in a lower-income household. There are plenty of families that are poor and you don’t see their kids running the streets at night (hubby was attacked at 9:40 p.m.). If the parents can’t be home to take care of their kids, they can find someone to look out for them. I was a single mom until my son was 10 years old. I enrolled him in after school care to make sure he wasn’t left alone, getting in to trouble.

None of the Five Precepts mention anger, so I can at least say I haven’t broken them, but I know the Dali Lama and Alan Watts have plenty to say about holding on to anger. Wouldn’t they be pissed that their loved one was clobbered? I am sure they would. It’s always easier to talk about doing something hypothetically but when “it” actually happens… boom! The ego takes over! We are human after all.

I am working on letting go of what happened. Writing about it hopefully will help. Staying angry is not good for my health and I know chances are slim that the teens will be caught. Hubby probably wasn’t their first victim … or their last. Eventually their luck will run out and they will end up a guest in the prison system or worse.

Namaste,

ingebird

 

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