I’ve limited my social media time to almost none these past few days. The TV has been off too. Since I have special needs pets I can’t spend time at a real retreat, I decided to make my home a retreat. I spend 8-10 hours a day in silence, meditating and making some art. I am hoping to get rid of anger that seems to simmer most of the day. For years fear has been my main emotion and its now switched to anger.
I am hoping to use the quiet time to process my feelings and then let them go. I know anger is bad for me and holding on to it will eventually manifest in to physical illness.
I am working on forgiveness. The issues I am angry about are beyond my control so I am working on letting that shit go too. My Buddhist teachings tell me to remain detached to what ever is going on. That’s a hard lesson for me. I understand it intellectually but practicing it is another matter. I will keep trying.
What I’ve gotten so far from my meditation is to look at what’s going on in my life as an opportunity to make a change. It’s a sign from the Universe that its time to move on and do what my heart has wanted to do for years. Instead of wallowing in negativity I want to brain storm how to turn my life desire in to my reality. It’s still a work-in-progress…
p.s. Who am I kidding? I would never make it an entire weekend at a meditation retreat without talking, and having to sit in silence for hours on end. I’d end up running through the woods screaming before day 1 was even over! I’m better off staying in my own environment.