One of my “triggers” is to be accused of something I did not do. When it happens I see red and I come out swinging. The other day a former neighbor left me a nasty message on my voicemail accusing me of something I did not do. I call him a former neighbor because he was in a serious accident a few months ago and will be gone at least a year rehabbing. He left me his house key in case there was an emergency at his house. Looking back, that was my first mistake.
After listening to the voicemail message, I called the neighbor back and unleashed my fury that included every cuss word I could think of. Like, I wrote earlier, I come out swinging. Twenty minutes after he hung up on me, the sheriff showed up at his house. I saw him and went down to give him the key… and my side of the story.
Later that afternoon, I was still angry, but not as much. I was more disappointed at myself for allowing myself to get drawn into my neighbor’s drama. I wished I had handled it differently, not that I wanted to show him love and compassion while he was being such an ass. I would have liked showing myself love and compassion for not getting so upset. I read somewhere that it can take the body three hours to recover from an angry outburst. My body deserves better treatment.
I also know I cannot control another person’s behavior, even one who is wrongly accusing me of something, but I can control how I react… and that time, I did not react well.
Sometimes, this compassion thing is hard as hell to put in to action.