Lately I have been thinking about reincarnation (probably because I turn sixty-three this year). Buddhists believe in reincarnation as well as many other religious groups… and I pretty much believe it, although I can’t say I believe 100% because I’m not dead. I’m not arguing if reincarnation is true or not. I’m not even giving that part any thought, but what I do think about is this; What if I get reborn into another fucked up family? I barely made it through seventeen years in this lifetime. Why would I want to go through that again or maybe something worse? Seventeen years are a loooong time to put up with crazy people, two people for sure who had no business having kids. I have a younger brother, eight years my junior. He had it pretty good until I ran away when I turned seventeen. Then he got the brunt of their fuckedupness. I lost touch with him years ago so I have no idea how he turned out (as an adult that is). As for my parents (and I use that term loosely) I don’t speak to them either for reasons I already mentioned. I am happy with my decision of cutting ties with those people and I think I turned out to be a pretty good human being. In fact, I never gave it much thought until I became a Buddhist or at least practice Buddhist teachings.
I was never formally admitted nor do I belong to a Sangha… at least for now. I was never a “joiner.” I’m not good at following rules when it comes to groups or showing up consistently at a certain place and time. I am definitely not orthodox in my beliefs, that’s why I consider myself a Bohemian Buddhist.
But that doesn’t stop me from thinking about reincarnation. I have questions and lot’s of them: Do I really want to reincarnate? Do I have a say in the matter? Is their someone in the afterlife I can discuss this with? Can I find out what my options are before I decide to stay or go back? There will probably be more questions I haven’t thought of. But for now these keep my brain busy. (So much for practicing living in the moment. LOL).
Do you think about stuff like this? Or am I just plain weird?